I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
