Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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