I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
