I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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