Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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