I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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