The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
