i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I smell stomach acid.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
