lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
