My room smells like vodka and shame
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at templeÂ
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
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