He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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