id be glad to
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
