I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
