He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
