Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
3pm strippers are depressing
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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