Your mouth is God's brothel.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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