a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
