a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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