I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
