she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
