I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
