i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
