does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
