i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She announced her abortion via fbk
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
