We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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