Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize