So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
