too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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