bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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