Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
