Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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