Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize