She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Farmville is her only friend.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
