He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
