Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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