Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
