This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
porn star boner night. come get it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
