Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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