Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
