Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
