I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Randomize
