we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
