oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
