I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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