...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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