Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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