ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
