what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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