i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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