Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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