Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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