1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
