I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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