So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
