he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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