so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
