You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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