Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize