matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
