You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
