This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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