i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize