She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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