just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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