my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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