I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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