Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
