dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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