The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
