I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
