OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
