Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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