I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
