did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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