How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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