my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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