Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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