So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
