somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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